There are so many things I want…

• To win the lottery (I don’t even play)
• To live forever (but strictly not on my own, you understand)
• To be married to Johnny Depp (sorry Mr J!)
• To travel the world (in luxury, no less)
• To time travel (in a non-impactive way)

Here endeth the sermon

Mr J and I often joke that my family are like the Waltons. My parents live in between my father’s two brothers and they share a semi-communal garden. My grandad lives up the same road and my grandma (mum’s mum) moved in with us over 15yrs ago after my grandpa died of the Big C. My grandparents have always been a huge part of my life.

I don’t really know when it started, but maybe 10yrs ago or so I made a pact with myself to tell everyone who I love that I love them on a regular basis. It’s been met with mixed reactions. Though I know they do, neither my dad or grandad have ever said it back. My grandma never says “I love you” but instead says “lots of love”. My sister occasionally mumbles something about love and my mum (a similarly emotional type to myself) embraced it wholeheartedly and says it back constantly. I say it less often to my friends for fear of looking like a weirdo, but I say it nonetheless.

Growing up, mum also taught us never to go to bed on an argument. I’m not entirely sure she takes her own advice, but I always do. In fact, Mr J and I (while we certainly have our moments) rarely argue what I would call properly and always talk things through, even if we do end up having to agree to disagree.

I’m not really sure what’s made all this so important to me. I’m not sure how much I do it for myself and how much I do it for other people. But I’m glad I do.

On Saturday my grandma had a major stroke. My parents were out of the country on vacation and had to get an emergency flight back after my sister found her. After a barrage of tests in A&E, grandma was put in the same ward my granny was put on three years ago when she had her stroke. Actually in the same bed too, which is painful at best. When granny had her stroke, she could still talk some and was quite alert, but after 4mths of struggle and unhappiness she passed away. Grandma’s stroke seems to be a lot worse. She can’t speak at all and is mostly out of consciousness.

When my granny had her stroke, my family rallied. Every day the family was there; they bought food, flowers, cards, read to her, did puzzles with her, wheeled her outside for fresh air and so on. The staff on the stroke ward said they’d never seen anything quite like it. Though mum’s side of the family is smaller, we will do the same. No-one wants her to be alone.

I hope with all my heart that grandma doesn’t have to go through the four months of hell my granny went through. I hope it is quick and peaceful. I want her to wake up enough again so that I can tell her I love her one more time, but I know she knows.

You never know what’s around the corner. You never know when something or someone might be lost to you before you are ready. We get one short life and I’m a firm believer that if you really want to do something then you should absolutely make it happen; no excuses. Don’t waste time arguing over petty, unimportant things and don’t go to bed angry and unhappy with someone. It’s ok to disagree. Just make sure they know you love them. It’s only three little words.

Next week (17th Feb to be precise) some of the Middlesex University Bright Futures committee and I will be attending #TRULondon.  Sadly our attendance wll be a bit limited due to the raft of presentations and work due to be completed that week, however we’re incredibly excited to be coming and will be running a track on Thursday afternoon about what it’s like to be a student tackling the graduate recruitment processes these days. Well. Not me. I have almost finished my BA in Recruitment Practice but, you know, I’m not wholly sure I’ll be done in time for graduation this year… :s

Final year students face some huge challenges at the best of times: Slogging through the toughest year of their studies in addition to job hunting (though not as you and I know it) and often juggling part-time work and family commitments as well.

To you and I, job hunting probably means tweaking your CV a bit and labouring over a nice covering letter. Now this is work enough, but students have it even harder: The application forms for a lot of graduate schemes are projects unto themselves! Highly reflective, essay-style questions that take time and work to complete. If (IF!) you make it through the first round screening then there’s a good chance you’ll have to sit a raft of skills tests – literacy, numeracy and sometimes logic too. Now I’ve never sat any of these for real myself, but I’ve done plenty of practice ones and let me tell you now that all common sense goes out the window when you see a little clock ticking in the corner of the screen and a raft of numbers in front of you! I can only imagine how much more stressful they are when you’re trying to do your best to get onto a scheme with a company you really want to be a part of! Then there’s the interviews, the assessment centres and, if the stars align, maybe a job at the end of it all! I can’t begin to tell you how many hours work go into each and every graduate scheme application.

But obviously there’s not just the big schemes, and that’s often what a lot of students fail to realise and where universities, friends and family can really add some value. All those wonderful SME’s out there who could benefit from a bright, enthusiastic grad and vice versa!

The single biggest hurdle I’ve come across when working with students has been getting them to realise that, no matter what company a person works for, they are just that: A person. We get employees to come in and talk to the students wherever possible and I also like to drag them along to networking events and so on when I can. The feedback is always resounding: They are just normal, nice people! Who knew, eh!?

Aside from taking the fear away a little, the networking is fantastic. It’s so great to be able to talk to and get advice from someone who’s shoes you might like to be in a few years from now. It’s nice to hear real stories and to know you’re not the only person out there who’s found it tough. It’s also great when they identify that, actually, they have friends and family already in the industry who might be able to help them too!

The other big challenge I often face is getting students to see the value of what they do. One girl I spoke to the other week had been running her own dance business for years but it wasn’t even on her CV! Despite marketing it herself, sorting out the finances, taking lessons, working with schools, choreographing and hosting events… She’d mentioned it in passing under Hobbies & Interests on her CV and that was it. All that amazing business experience not mentioned anywhere because she didn’t consider it to be a “real job”, just something she enjoyed doing and that she happened to make a bit of money out of!

We all need to do more to help the next generation of business men and women. Many big companies won’t even come to our university because we’re not Russell Group or one of their target uni’s, and many of the students don’t have the billion UCAS points required to even apply to some of the big schemes due to personal circumstances. I understand why things are as they are, but as one person said in one of the higher ed employability forums this week: How is that not discrimination?!

I hate the term “employability” though. The meaning gets so warped that I don’t even know what people mean when they say it half the time! Judgements are made on so much more than skills and sometimes I think that being employable just means being able to distinguish yourself from everyone else! But these are all the things we will be discussing at #TRULondon this week and we really hope you’ll join us for the debate!

In addition to myself, you can meet six wonderful young men and women from Middlesex University, all of whom have done me incredibly proud this year:

• Kenneth Izevbigie (AKA @Kenny_I)
• Kevin Izevbigie (AKA @KevinIze) (and yes, they’re twins – good luck with that!)
• Julius Kessy
• Martina Stromkova
• Jaspal Jassal (AKA @JaspalJassal)
• Natasha Tsoka (AKA @Belle_Natasha) (hopefully!)

I try not to get overly involved in the day to day running of the society – I have plenty of experience organising events and working in the corporate world. The idea is for the committee to get as hands-on as possible and just use me to bounce ideas off and steer things back on track if needs be (not that this ever seems to happen!) so, while I was involved in the event, I was hardly a key player. From room booking to catering to marketing to inviting corporate sponsors, I was really impressed with the way the committee pulled together to organise such an awesome event! Everyone played a part and played to their strengths!

The format for the first event was kept as simple as possible. As it’s the first year of having a Bright Futures Society on campus at Middlesex University, we needed to hammer home what the society was about and what the students can get out of it, rather than being too creative early on. So the format was simple: Three corporate speakers, talking about their company, their experiences and what they look for in graduates when they’re recruiting.

Thanks to Julius Kessy and Kenneth Izevbigie, we ultimately had a rep from Centrica, one from the ACCA and two from IBM. I was actually surprised at how much I enjoyed all three presentations! I suppose that was a little presumptuous of me, but it’s true…

Both Centrica and IBM sent employees who were former students at Middlesex, which was an excellent move. The students identified instantly with the speakers and it was great to see such success stories taking the time to come back and spread the word to current students! It was also lovely to see Joakim Feltborg again, having worked with him the previous year – oh how the tables have turned! :)

Centrica surprised me with the versatility of their scheme. They only require a 2:2 (fairly unheard of) and have no hang-ups about UCAS points – something which I am quite passionate about for a variety of reasons! They judge applicants almost entirely on the calibre of their application and where they are at in their lives now. I thought this was an incredibly refreshing approach and, as the presenter was clearly passionate about the company and the graduate scheme, this only made them all the more appealing!

ACCA surprised me because I’m not an accounting/finance person and, while the information wasn’t particularly relevant to me, they still managed to keep it interesting and informative!

IBM, frankly, left me very much wanting to work for the company! They had sent two reps – one on the graduate scheme and another on her placement year there. They did an energetic tag team presentation, covering all areas of the company, schemes and company culture.

We had over 75 student attendees in the end (I say over because, although 75 signed in, there were quite a few who sneaked in through the back and side doors of the lecture theatre without registering), plus a range of lecturers and careers/placement staff, plus myself and the committee, which totally to something in the region of 100 attendees in the end. I don’t know how this compares to other societies, but I thought it was an excellent number!

We are planning our next event to be a more hands-on affair with some business games and the like. There is lots to do between now and March but I have no doubt the committee will do a sterling job!

————————————————————–

If you would like to meet the Middlesex Bright Futures Committee, we will be leading a track on graduate recruitment at #TRULondon on Thursday 17th March. Come along and say hello!

Basically throughout the year the Bright Futures committee for each university organises a range of activities and workshops which are attended and sponsored by the Bright Futures corporate partners. And there are some big names involved, including all of the Big Four, BT, Tui, Nestle, and so on. Bright Futures themselves also have regional events where committee members can learn valuable skills (it was networking at the one I went to the other week, and very good it was too!) from corporates and external trainers to really help build confidence and make their society a success. They also run competitions throughout the year for all society members to take part in, with some excellent, employability-focussed prizes. From my side of the fence if nothing else, it is a very professionally run set-up which really achieves what it sets out to do.

Anyway. I umm-ed and ahhh-ed for ages about setting up a society. It’s a student-led thing (which technically I am) but my issue is that, as a non-full timer (and some *cough* 10+ years older than the majority of students) I don’t really have many student friends, as such. What I do have, however, is a core of bright, proactive final years who I advise on employability two days a week, so it was to them I turned.

I ought to have known better really. I invited all those proactive enough to have taken up my invite of coaching/support/whatever-you-want-to-call-it over the summer holidays to meet with me and discuss the society and how they might like to get involved. I knew they wouldn’t all turn up (it was technically still holiday time, after all) but, as it was, eight did. I thought that I was going to have to harangue them all in to joining or at least playing a part, and that I would end up doing the lions share of the work. As it was, every last one of them wanted to join the committee and roles were actively (though thankfully not physically…) fought over. I even bowed out as President so that one of them could take the helm!

I have been humbled by all eight of my fellow committee members over the last couple of months. They are resourceful, commercial young men and women, full of ideas and all working their butts off to get good degrees, apply for graduate schemes, work part-time jobs (in some instances), be good parents (in other instances) AND run our busy little society. They have helped one another out with all sorts of things and worked so well as a team, focussing on strengths and positives rather than weaknesses and negatives. We have nearly 100 fully paid up members so far and nearly 300 further students have registered their interest with us. Our first event will run before Christmas and I’m really looking forward to it!

Some of my blog posts are a bit hard on the students. Some of them are ranty, I know. This one is not.

The following Middlesex University Business School students are on our Bright Futures committee. If you are looking to recruit a graduate next year, I strongly recommend you start here…

President – Kenneth Izevbigie (also on Twitter as @Kenny_I)
Vice President – Julius Kessy
Treasurer - Kevin Izevbigie (also on Twitter as @KevinIze)
Secretary – Mansah Gbesemete
Events Co-ordinator – Martina Stromkova (though you’ll have to wait an extra year for her as she’s only a second year)
Public Relations - Dominika Bzdyra
Corporate Liaison Officer – Jaspal Jassal (also on Twitter as @JaspalJassal)
Corporate Liaison Officer – Natasha Tsoka

Now I’m not much of a feminist, but the women in this movie give women everywhere a bad name, in my opinion. Needy, obsessive, untrusting, etc… Regular bunny boilers, frankly! Not that the men fared much better: Heartless, cheating users the lot of them!

What I did take away from the movie though was a lesson about expectation management and realising you are probably not the exception and are far more likely the rule. The opening sequence covers this well by highlighting how well-meaning friends and family always help us to look on the bright side: If he didn’t call you back it’s probably because he likes you and doesn’t know how to act. Maybe he’s married, but you can’t choose when or who you fall in love with and maybe he’ll leave his wife and you’ll both live happily ever after. Etc etc etc. You can imagine the rest! 

But anyway, I got to thinking: This exact same situation applies to today’s students. I blogged  recently about my expectations of them but what about theirs? There is no one person responsible for managing their expectations: We all play a part. We tell our kids to work hard and they will get a good job. Same with our teachers and lecturers – Get good grades and you will get a good job. Same with peers – ooh you’re so much cleverer than me; you’ll be fine! But plenty of students work really hard, get really good grades and still end up in entry level / retail positions when they graduate. And the reality may not be as depressing as the press implies. And there may be employers still struggling to find candidates of the right calibre for their graduate schemes. But it is tough nonetheless and no-one ever tells them quite HOW tough it might be. No-one tells them they might have to consider starting out in a more junior position and on a lower salary. No-one tells them they’ll probably need to be flexible when they start out and work their way up. No-one tells them.

There are those who ought to (deserve to?) succeed more than others and there are those who succeed against the odds. And sometimes I wonder whether the reason for this is expectations. Maybe sometimes those who should succeed don’t because the reality of the world of work and finding employment has just totally floored them.

But who’s to blame? Well, in my humble opinion, we all are.

The website of my recruitment-related employer often attracts agency phone calls. We’re very niche and, while we do often recruit in-house, we also recruit for external positions and, if you don’t look at our website properly, it can be an easy mistake to make.

Of course; if you read the website properly it’s screamingly apparent…

So anyway, yesterday I had a phone call from an agency (who shall remain nameless… for now!) touting for business. I didn’t have to, but I took the call. The guy made his pitch, spoke about a specific role we were advertising for, told me how he had looked at our website (looked perhaps, but not read…), and asked whether we’d be interested in utilising his services. Though he had read the job ad, he had clearly done no further research on the company. He didn’t understand what we were or what we did. I explained that we wouldn’t be interested and why. I explained what the company is about how we work. I was, in my humble opinion, perfectly polite, friendly and helpful – if you know me then you’ll know it’s not generally my style not to be.

At the end of the conversation – clearly annoyed by his lack of success – he opted to take the sarcastic, smug approach and closed with “Oh, I see. Well in that case, I suspect the job you’re advertising is for XXX company – thanks for the heads up on that!” [Note: For this to really work, when you imagine him saying it in your head, you have to imagine a really smug, stupid voice and, at the end, a really fake, self-satisfied laugh]

Well there was no need to speak to me like that. And, actually, it wasn’t for XXX company at all…

…But thanks for the lead!

Now I’m not that old (though I concede I’m getting on a bit now), but I do sometimes feel that there is a huge dividing chasm looming between the students and myself when it comes to attitude. Maybe it’s because I didn’t go to university. Maybe it’s cos I’m Gen X (just!) and they’re Gen Y. Maybe it’s our backgrounds. Maybe it’s nothing as complex and it’s just the way we are.

I always try and offer more help than I am asked for when it comes to the students. If someone comes to me asking for help with their CV then they will get that and more. I can’t make them act on my LinkedIn, networking, work experience, whatever tips, but I can give them the chance to see that there’s more they can do to make themselves stand out and be as ready as they can when it comes to job hunting. Some work closely with me throughout the year and use me for all I’m worth. Others see me once and I never hear from them again (though I always follow up with emails).

This year was the first year any of my students had graduated though and, honestly, I was a little disappointed! Now it’s not true of all of them, by any stretch of the imagination, but the number who simply vanished off the face of the earth post-graduation was astonishing! Though the big employers may know roughly how many graduates they’ll be looking to recruit from year to year, SME’s often have no idea until maybe a few months before. The decision to hire anyone, graduate or not, is not taken lightly. Lots of people came to me looking for graduates – more than I had hoped or anticipated. And the biggest disappointment to me was that some of (what I’d thought were) the best, most inspired students, who I had worked with for most of the year, were too busy travelling/holidaying/chilling out to bother applying for these jobs! Jobs where, in some instances, I could genuinely put in a good word for them if it were appropriate!

The whole concept still astounds me! To go through three years of studies in order to get a good job and then, when jobs are perhaps at their ripest for picking on the graduate scene, to have a break… Well. I don’t get it, frankly! And it makes me a bit sad, because when did attitudes get so lax?!

But much respect to those who do still keep in touch with me and who are committed to their job hunt. Those who, day in and day out, apply for jobs, stay motivated, and do all they can to put themselves out there. It is those who will succeed, and it is those who make my job so very worthwhile!

The weekend started for me on Thursday night when I drove down to my parents’ for an overnight stop. I’m not great at driving anything over 4hrs and, while The HRD had offered me a ride, I hadn’t met him previously and decided that 4+hrs in a car was perhaps a rather extreme way to meet. Not to mention (if I’m perfectly honest) he may have turned out to be an axe murderer… Or I may have, though that’s yet to be proven…

So after a night of carrying out various IT-related support tasks for my technologically challenged parents and having breakfast with my BFF, I headed off to Gary Franklin’s. Gary was to be my chauffer for the remainder of the journey, and a sterling job he did too! For the record, Gary also has a car the size of a small flat. The sheer volume of camping equipment, food and supplies that went into that car was awe inspiring! At one point, I thought I saw him putting one of those tabletop dishwashers in there, but I have no photographic evidence to back this up, and it never materialised from the car once we hit the camp site, so…

The journey down was uneventful. Gary was fantastic company (no surprise there) and, after a minor and very scenic detour, we found the Secret Spot camping site which, for those who care, was somewhere near Croyde. Hot on our heels were Andy Headworth, Sara Headworth and James Mayes, as chauffeured by Matt Jessop. James was to be my camping saviour for the weekend – his vast amounts of camping equipment and technology allowed me (a self-confessed [read as: wannabe] snob) to have as comfortable a camping weekend as one can have, and limited (but didn’t stop) my moaning. Mayes Mansions was a god send – I couldn’t even reach the ceiling with an outstretched hand in the Living Room, and I am almost 5ft 9ins sans shoes.

The HRD was next to arrive and I’m going to devote a whole paragraph to him now. His arrival was as every day as you could imagine – no helicopters, balaclavas, body guards or blacked out limos… Just him and a car. He seemed remarkably held together for someone who was under pressure (only from himself, of course) to maintain his man of mystery persona all weekend, not to mention he’d hardly met any of us before! We called him Theo, but his failure to answer to this name on multiple occasions leads me to believe it is not his real name (surprise, surprise)! All in all, he was a lovely chap and it was an honour to meet him in person. I have to say though that I struggled to talk to him a bit. Though the anonymity didn’t matter in many respects, every time I opened my mouth to start a conversation I ended up shutting it again because most everything I wanted to ask or chat about was personal and I realised he wouldn’t answer it. I didn’t really want to make him feel uncomfortable by my asking and his then having to lie or fob me off, so all in all, it seemed safer just to shut up really. Though, with hindsight, I hope that didn’t come across as stand-offish.

The rest of the Friday night crew (Stephen O’Donnell and Matt Alder) arrived shortly after and we then headed into town to kick off the drinking (what am I saying – the drinking started 5mins after we arrived!) and for our first curry of the weekend. The first night was great – chilled and personal. There were a few diva moments in the pub due to lack of mobile reception, but on the whole it was kind of nice to have a few less of us on the first day and to ramp up to the Big Event on Saturday.

My first night’s sleep in Mayes Mansions (I was in the East Wing) was sullied only by the fact I was underdressed (and, therefore, cold) and had parked James’ super-deluxe mattress the wrong way round on a slope so I spent the night falling off. Apart from the lack of sleep hours-wise, it was quite tolerable!

Saturday kicked off early with people arriving in dribs and drabs throughout the morning. Sarah Knight, Alex Hens, Lisa Scales and Peter Gold all pretty much arrived together, and Gareth Jones, Mervyn Dinnen and Charlie Duff rocked up a little later. Big credit goes to Sarah at this point as she was the only person on the weekend who had met absolutely no-one in person prior to the event! Though, of course, it felt like we’d all known her forever!

Drinking, for most people, started prior to the surfing, though I managed to abstain as I was already nursing a small hangover (and a bit of a sulk from lack of sleep). Getting the wet suits sorted has to be one of the funniest moments of the weekend for me though! Being the blonde that I am, I inadvertently started putting mine on back to front, only to have to strip it off again. It actually went on quite easily the first time, but by the second attempt I was tired and hot (fatal when it comes to putting a wet suit on!) and I ended up having to brace myself against a wall while being levered into it by Sarah and Charlie, who valiantly came to my rescue and manhandled parts of me that, well, should probably only be handled by men!

Surfing was THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD EVER and I totally enjoyed it despite the various injuries sustained (or renewed) and my inability to stand up. I can’t wait to try it again! Well done to all those who managed to stand up and, to those who wimped out: Your loss!

Saturday night was a rowdier version of Friday with more curry and booze. I sat next to the lovely Charlie at curry and we talked the night away with Sara, putting the world to rights about various, incredibly meaningful matters. Charlie’s ability to speak more than me left me quite gobsmacked, but I love her dearly for it – she is a truly inspiring and dedicated young woman, even if she did pip me to the post as youngest attendee (b!tch… )

Saturday night ended with various campfire laughs and a revolting amount of farting (lead by James). Matt (Alder) wore a head lamp and did an impersonation of a lighthouse, The HRD’s sense of humour showed it’s true colours, Lisa somehow ended up on Gary’s knee, James revealed his scary stalker side, body piercings and tattoos were discussed in more detail than is healthy to re-live, Andy and Gary fell asleep in their chairs and, well… You had to be there to appreciate it. It was a fantastic night.

The morning after the night before was subdued and we all left for home pretty quickly. I think it’s safe to say that everyone had a fantastic weekend! The only thing I was a bit sorry about was that I got to spend a little time with everyone but not a lot of time with anyone! Next time…

There is no-one who does not deserve thanks, but my personal special mentions go:

• To Lisa for organising the whole event
• To Gary for a) driving me, b) cooking for us both mornings and c) buying all the breakfast food we could possibly require
• To James for looking after me on the camping front and for putting up Mayes Mansions single handedly while I drank cider and sat on my lazy butt.
• To The HRD and Alex for lending me their blankets when I failed to take trousers (Pah! I laugh in the face of trousers!) and was both cold and being eaten alive my mossies.
• And finally to Sarah, without whom the weekend might never have happened. After all, this was meant to be a girlie weekend, once-upon-a-time!

N.B. For those who are interested: 1 attendee (6%) was a Nokia user, 2 (12.5%) were predominantly BlackBerry users, 2 (12.5%) were on Android and the rest (69%) were varying versions of the iPhone. Meaningful statistics indeed…! Hahahah!

Now I know recruitment people have a bad rep, but surely their biggest rivals are estate agents?! If we had the time and inclination (neither of which we do) we’d love to try something like Tepilo but sadly its looks as though we’re going to be beholden to the agents.

So the valuations are underway, but even from the off we struggled to select which agents to even invite round to look at the place. We’ve viewed a few houses ourselves (with mixed success) but the levels of service vary so heavily from agent to agent.

A little summary for you…

Agent 1: By far my favourite. We’ve viewed two properties with them and both agents stood out. They didn’t push us, let us take our time, answered our questions (seemingly) honestly even if the answer wasn’t really positive. But neither was pushy at all. And while I like that as a buyer, I’m not sure how I feel about that as a seller… Do houses really sell themselves?

Agent 2: What a wide boy! Rocked up late and (clearly late for his next appointment) ferried us round the house in 5mins flat. Bragged about all the sales he’d made that week and was more interested in trying to sell ours for us.

Agent 3: Talk about disinterested! While I concede that she was something like 8 months pregnant and it was a Sunday, I have never seen anyone less interested! The house had SO much potential and she failed to point out 99% of what I (Joe Public) could even spot. Mr J told me later that he’d had to haggle just to get a viewing on it, such was her disinterest.

Agent 4: The owner was showing the property (always uncomfortable IMO, but fair enough). He was expecting us at 12. We were expecting to be shown round at 5. You can imagine how well that went down…

Agent 5: Never called us back to confirm a viewing we requested. Nice tactic.

Agent 6: we’ve avoided like the plague after the atrocious experience we had last time. They sell a lot of flats (or maybe they don’t and that’s why there’s so many on their database…) so we’ve asked them to do a valuation. We already regret that decision. We’ve had about 8 calls in 4 days from them. Mr J sends them straight to voicemail now and debating suing them for harassment!

I’ve never had many dabblings with recruiters. What I have has been annoying to say the least, but I have faith, because I too am a recruiter and I blindly refuse to believe they can all be bad. But if estate agents are an equal comparison and my experience is anything to go by then I have a new understanding… Where’s the trust? Where’s the honesty? Why is it I want none of these people to sell my house?! And if I had the same kind of experience with recruiters why would I want them to help me find staff?!